Counselling or coaching — which one do I need?

If you've been thinking about getting support, you may have come across both counselling and coaching and wondered which one is actually for you. The two can sound quite similar, and there is genuine overlap — but they're not the same thing, and knowing the difference can help you choose.

Here's how I think about it in my own practice.

Counselling, in a nutshell

Counselling is a space to explore feelings, experiences, and patterns — what's happened, how it has shaped you, and how it's affecting you now. It tends to be reflective and unhurried. There's often no "problem to solve" in the usual sense. The goal is understanding: of yourself, your reactions, your relationships, your story.

People often come to counselling when something feels stuck, painful, confusing, or too big to carry alone. You don't need to be in crisis, and you don't need to know what you want to say.

Coaching, in a nutshell

Coaching is more forward-facing. It's a space to think clearly about something you want to do, change, or work out — a decision, a transition, a goal, a way of being in the world. It's still thoughtful and collaborative, but there's more attention to what comes next and how you'd like to get there.

People often come to coaching when they feel ready to move but aren't sure how, or when they want a calm space to think about direction, confidence, or priorities.

What they have in common

In both, you're listened to carefully and without judgement. In both, the work is led by you, not by me. In both, there's space to slow down and see things more clearly.

And — importantly — in both, I don't give advice or tell you what to do. My job isn't to hand you an answer. It's to help you find your own, at a pace that works for you.

How to choose

A rough rule of thumb:

- If you mostly want to understand something — a feeling, a pattern, an experience — counselling is probably the better starting point.

- If you mostly want to move forward on something — a decision, a transition, a change you're ready for — coaching may fit better.

- If you want both, that's completely fine. Many of my clients find that the two work naturally together, and we can blend them as we go.

You also don't have to choose perfectly before we begin. One of the things we can talk about in a first session is what kind of work feels right, and we can adjust if your needs shift.

If you're still not sure

The easiest way to decide is to talk. A free 20-minute call gives you a chance to describe what's on your mind and get a sense of which way of working might suit. There's no pressure to commit to anything.